Writte By: Maurice D. Proffit
WWE: OH EM GEE! We’re In Hollywood! We need a “celeb” of some sorts!
Jackoff WWE Hollywood Writer: “No fear people, I got Perez Hilton on my speed dial. Hollers!!!”
WWE: “Oh! Great work (Jackoff WWE Hollywood Writer). How on earth did you have his number?”
Jack off WW Hollywood Writer: “Oh! We blow coke…er…um…I mean, we have drinks once and a while…yeah.”
Last night was the 1/16/2012 edition of Monday Night Raw. I thought the show was good. Not a bad show overall. I went into the show not knowing what to expect so my expectations were pretty low. Not a whole lot was set up from last week that made me compelled to tune into this week’s Raw. But…it’s Monday Night Raw; it’s a staple in my life that I do not see being removed any time soon. So it may be pointless for me to point that out, but it still is obvious. But I ask, “Why is it obvious”? Why is it obvious that a show can end somewhat on a down note and not give you too much to look forward to, but yet can expect those viewers to come back the next week? Just to clear the air, the 1/9/12 edition of Raw ended with Zack Ryder attempting to get Eve out of harm’s way from the Monster Kane, but unfortunately, he had a flat tire and we see him, changing a flat tire. I’m sorry, is this Pro wrestling I’m watching or that television show on the Discovery Channel, “Monsters Garage”? Must be. The MONSTER Kane and changing a flat tire outside of the arena GARAGE. But I’m sitting here watching our United States Champion (whom at one point was a cult favorite of mine) Zack Ryder changing the tire of his rented car so he can drive his (unconfirmed) girlfriend Eve, away from Kane. WWE, why is this your way of closing a show? How is this beneficial? How is this enticing? How does this make me want to go to work the next day and talk about this with fellow fans? Either F2F or on FB and Twitter? How? Needless to say, for me, Raw ended on a sour note last week. Thank GOD for the entertaining debut of Broadus Clay and also, Chris Jericho once again toying with the emotions of the crowd. If it wasn’t for those two, I wouldn’t have anything to talk about.
Which leads me to this week’s edition of Raw? Didn’t know too much of what to expect, so I decided to settle my mind into the old time saying “Expect the Unexpected” and that I did. I’m going to touch on my major gripe of the show shortly, however I want to touch on some of these highlights.
-Mick Foley. Foley comes out and cuts a promo for the Anaheim, CA crowd. It’s funny because yesterday I left work early due to an illness and as I was in bed, medicated and resting, I had on the 1999 WWF Royal Rumble and I was watching Mankind (one of Foley’s alter egos) vs. The Rock for the WWF Title. And I remembered how much I LOVED Foley and it was no different to watching him come out on Raw last night. Sure, he’s older, and may’ve lost a half a step, but still undeniably one of my all time favorites in wrestling. His announcement of him being in the Royal Rumble this year did nothing but bring a smile to my face. But what does that say about the Rumble itself? I was just having a conversation with a buddy of mine in the UK (Ross) about this. The weight as far as talent in the rumble seems scary light. I don’t think that Cena is in it, I don’t think HHH will be in it. No Taker, and not sure about Jericho. Christian is still injured, so who is there left to go with? Curt Hawkins? JTG? Yoshi Tatsu? Drew McIntyre? Nothing against the talent AT ALL. I will NEVER disrespect talent or say that a wrestler “sucks”. However, how am I to believe that this is a rumble where ANYONE can win? I’m going to go more into the Rumble next week, and give my predictions, but with Foley being in it, kind of shows that WWE needs some weight in it.
I’m happy we have new tag team champions in Epico and Primo. I LOVE that Rosa has finally found her niche within the company because she looks legit next to both of the gentlemen. Whereas every other angle they involved her with looked absolutely phony. Congratulations to Epico and Primo, but what does this mean for Kofi and Evan Bourne? I get the reason why the belts were dropped to Epico and Primo was because of Bourne violating the wellness policy because he cannot keep his hands off the blunt. He served his 30 day suspension while Kofi still wrestled in a singles capacity (BTW, what happened to the 30 day title defense policy that all champions need to abide by? Eh, I guess that’s thrown into the “once upon a time” pile). What kills me is that RIGHT when Air Bourne (Kofi and Bourne) were starting to look like a legit tag team and were in the midst of resurrecting the tag team division. Bourne fails his drug test and now the belts are taken away. Not on TV either, but at a non-televised house show. And they lose their rematch the next night on Raw (last night). Ok, Bourne needs to be punished, BUT WHY PUNISH KOFI?!?! Are you serious? Why should Kofi pay for Bourne’s’ stupidity? R-Truth did the exact same thing as Bourne back in November to The Miz. Was The Miz punished? Absolutely not. As a matter of fact, he came out looking stronger from the incident. Now, I know were less than 24 hours removed from Raw, but what is going to happen to Kofi Kingston? Unfortunately if you let the message boards of the IWC (Internet Wrestling Community) tell it, they say that “Air Bourne will wind up on Impact due to getting fired”. I’m sorry, but when you imply that, you’re implying that KOFI SMOKED THE WEEEEEEEEED!!!! AND HE DID NOT!!!! (Smacking and Shaking My Head) This is why I stay away from the IWC Message boards completely. That is an example of the ignorance that wrestling fans seem to display on a daily basis.
I was happy to see Jack Swagger win the United States Championship last night from (my former cult favorite wrestler) Zack Ryder. I’m sorry, but the shine immediately came off once Ryder won the US title back at TLC. The moment was excellent, but overall, it was the build that made the journey fun. It was the “Z True Hollywood Stories” that occurred every week on YouTube. It was the FB and Twitter community rallying behind him to push him. It was the online petitions that went around, so we can see Ryder finally get that main event push. It was the small tiny sightings of Ryder that we were given each and every week. But when WWE sees something hot, they REALLY know how to dump water all over it to cool it down considerably. As soon as WWE got their hands on Ryder, it lost the mystic that he once had because it was too much at once. This is a prime example of the old saying “be careful for what you wish for, you just may get it.” We’ll, we got it and me personally, I don’t like it. I’m happy for him, but I loved the cult value of him, but from his angle, I applaud him because being a cult favorite doesn’t do too much to appease the bills. But Swagger is your new United States Champion. I love Swagger because he has the build of a condensed Brock Lesnar and the abilities of a Kurt Angle. I was the ONLY one who predicted his win in the Money In the Bank Ladder match at Wresltemania 26 and not only did he win the briefcase, but he cashed it in and became the World Heavyweight Champion a couple of weeks after the event. I was ecstatic when he first won, but damnit couldn’t get over. Needless to say, Swagger lost the belt later that summer and fell down some slots. Swagger has worked his way back up the ranks and winning the US title is not a step down for him, considering that he is a former world champion, but this is a massive leap forward to being a main event player. Which Raw desperately needs. Just like Ryders Ride, let me sit back and enjoy this one. WWWYKI.
John Cena didn’t appear on Raw until 9:11pm (CST)?!?!? CM Punk closed the show?!?! Did WWE Read Proffit’s Piledriver last week??? Hmmmmm…. #melikey
This leads me to my gripe. I’m sure you wondering by now “What the hell was that opening about?” That opening had to do with my feelings towards WWE pandering to likes of Twitter, Access Hollywood, E! and TMZ. Does WWE even care about what the fans want from pro wrestling? Do they look at us and just take us for granted? Do they disregard how loyal we are to them? Do they take into account that despite the struggling economy and unemployment being where it is today, we STILL find a way to buy their PPV’s, buy their DVD’s and Blu Ray’s, buy tickets to live events, buy merchandise? Even after all of those products are ridiculously over priced? Do they take into account of how dedicated WWE fans are to the products to make sure that both Raw and Smackdown ratings are at network highs and continue to make both shows the highest rated shows on cable? Do they take any of that into consideration? I can answer that, HELL NO, when you have the likes of Perez Hilton flopping down the aisle and trying to communicate with the fans of pro wrestling? Dude, you are NOT here for me! You are here so that WWE can be on TMZ the next day, and WWE if that is whom you are targeting your focus on, instead of fans like me who pour their blood, sweat and tears into your product, then that says an awful lot. Raw was in Anaheim last night, right down the street from LA. Perez was in his home town, and explain to me why even his home town booed the hell out of him! Bro, you are a gossip columnist. Your fan base is the likes of one of my colleagues who loves celebrity gossip and does NOT like pro wrestling. WWE let him stay within HIS demographic and concentrate on your own demographic! Because every time you bring people like him into the WWE Ring to speak to us, you are not only wasting our time but you are also giving us devoted fans the middle finger, and not Stone Cole Steve Austin’s middle finger, but the Vince McMahon middle finger…which is much worse.
Maurice D. Proffit
proffitspiledriver 